Merry Christmas

Well, aren't we cute... this was our Christmas card picture this year... we usually do just the redheads but I caved in and so... here WE ALL are. Not a bad picture.. Noel's friend,Graham, may have found his calling in life... he did a great job on this one!! Gracias, Graham-y T. Christmas was great in a didn't feel like Christmas kind of way... Weather: not cold! Decoration: not great.. house for sale and did not want to "clutter" it up! Mood: good and very thankful ... just not really peaceful... kinda' like there was something off... I think that it is the fact that we know that my treatment begins on January 8... and, none of us really know what to expect... The hardest part for me is when people say," You look so good!" Like I am supposed to look sick and I don't... Because... I am not sick!! God is bigger than what we think is "supposed" to be. Also, I am not real good with the "people doting on me" thing... I am better with the "doting on others" thing... It is hard for me... to relax and let others be the ones giving and me be the one receiving.. Working on it .. not there yet but working on it...

One of the things that Santa got me was a book, Praying the Names of GOD by Ann Spangler. I have wanted to study them for a while(and the names of Jesus) and thought that this would be a great time to do it....Each guide is 6 months worth of study... there are my 12 months... I cannot wait until Monday... I am really looking forward to the next year in a really weird way... I always feel like I have to be in the MIDDLE of whatever is going on... and this treatment thing is giving me an "excuse" to sit in the back of the bus and just ride for a while... My sweet husband has told me on MANY occasions to slow down.. take care of Susie... blah! blah! blah! and recently he said(several times) "God has let this happen to SLOW YOU DOWN!!! You were not going to any other way!!" and ... I really think he's right! Ooooo, did I type that out loud!?!?

I can't wait to see what we all learn at this house during the coming year... We are on the count down now... We are 25 minutes from the last day of an interesting year... and the one that is stretched out before us... It will probably be a doozie too!!

Thank you, Lord that you know what is going on and I don't have to be in control of everything... Teach me to remember that you are Yahweh Yireh (the Lord will Provide) and Yahweh Rophe ( the Lord who Heals) and above all you are my Abba (Father). How I love you ... thank you for all that You are and all that you are teaching me to be. Amen 

THE THINKER

This is my first-born.. my "practice run".. my "at-home" trail version!! He has taught me so much and doesn't even know it.. He really is THE THINKER.. He is ALWAYS one ahead of me and that is the scariest part of the whole deal... Like tonight, for example, we were riding across town to pick up his friend to spend the night.. and he started rambling off something about bats.. and then moved into chemistry... YIKES!!! and he is only 9 and in the 4th grade... We are always on our toes with this one.. He is so bright... funny(in spite of himself), caring, loving ... very loyal and terribly independent!!! He asked me today what "part" of me and his papa(my daddy) he has... He has heard us say that his little brother looks like my daddy... What is his "part"??? He has so much of my daddy in him that it really frightens me... He is a reader, thinker, do-er, a quiet force of nature... ALL of this could have discribed my daddy... and he is named after my daddy...

He just about blows my mind daily. He is growing up so fast.. I love to be around him and talk to him. He is a very deep and spiritual kid...He asks the best questions and really wants the WHOLE answer!!! Our pastor told my husband that he doesn't seem his age... he seems older... I have always thought that he had an old soul.. He just is very mature for his age...

He loves cowboys and history and facts... and if the 3 things are all involved in a movie or book he is ALL OVER THAT!!! Right now he plans to attend West Point and Harvard Law School and then go on into the JAG corp... If there is anyone that I know that could it is Noel...He is so determined.. This past fall he decided to run for student council... ran a great campaign and won...VERY COOL!!! and that also made him class president..

Recently he told me that he thought that leaders aren't born... they are made... I sorta' disagree... I think that someone has to have the ability to lead and then it has to be nurtured.. Noel has that ability and I am going to help him any way that I can... I cannot wait to see what God has in store for this little man....

God gave me the 2 greatest kids ever ... and this practice run kid is too amazing that I sometimes get misty watching him do his stuff... from play the violin on the Performing Arts stage or giving a "welcome" at a Christmas brunch at school or swimming the breast stroke in the state championships.... Whatever he does I want to watch it ALL... he makes me so proud..

Thanks God for my first born son!!! 

mommaqueen

Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la!!!! That is how I feel today...It is only a few daze before Christmas and the boys and I are having a great time..Greg is on a business trip and so we are just doing what we want to ... when we want to... Kinda' nice to not have a real strict schedule!!! The last week of school before the break was CRAZY!! Every day was filled with events and parties.. I am pooped from the running back and forth(they go to 2 different schools) So, that is why I have not posted in a long time.. not because I did not want to- I have just been busy and really did not have any thoughts that I really wanted to remember... Since my last post I have been on my first oncology appt. Yeah me!!! It wasn't really so bad.. but not so good either!! The waiting room was too crowded and that part freaked me out... Dr. Hill, my oncologist(yikes), is super great.. and the nurse that drew my blood... well, lets just say that I will be waiting for her EVERY TIME I have to be stuck... I have rollie pollie mini veins.. and she hit it the first time.. A FIRST!!!

The way this treatment was explained to me is pretty simple.. I do not have cancer right now.. they got everything and it had not spread to the nodes(YEAH GOD) ... sooooooo, this is all preventative... And, I will be scanned and checked regularly for a long time!!! Mole check anyone!! WEAR Sunscreen!!!

For the first 4 weeks I will make a daily trip to the lovely OVERCROWDED local cancer center... make my way to a chair and wait for my turn...then I will be hooked up to an I V bag for 2 - 3 hours.. then sent home to feel flu-like and take care of my family(to the best of my ability) until I return the next morning... This will be the Monday - Friday routine.. I get weekends off to rest ... at the end of the first 4 weeks I will see Dr. Hill, have blood work done.. and begin the 11 month portion of the journey... This will be a 3 day a week treatment that I will do myself(or a nurse/friend.. depends on my ability to STICK myself)!! Won't I be a fun girl!! The doctor says that I will not feel good... flu-like.. I will be ok... I have lots and lots of people praying me through and I have lots of help too...I have also started taking these pills called JUICE PLUS... and just 2 weeks in to this I really can tell the difference!! The pills are not vitamins, they are whole foods... and they work on the cellular level... making the body work properly from the inside out.. (do I sound like a commercial or what) I really can tell a difference.. Thanks, Ang!!! I started the pills to get my body in good shape before "T" day(treatment day)...

I really am so thankful for my family and friends.. They are taking great care of me... and I really am good!!! Just very very ready for this all to start and then for it to finish!!